Nov 20 Liz and Ryan Bower

Judy and Phil – Columbus, OH

Judy and Phil are an incredible couple with such a strong bond and connection. The connection they have didn’t just happen because they said I do. It grew over time as they continually worked at their relationship. Most importantly, it started before they were married by simply saying “No.”

Judy and Phil – Columbus, Ohio

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Liz and I are probably one of the few couples that have been together since high school but waited to have sex until marriage. If you would have asked us while we were in college why we didn’t have sex and insisted on waiting until marriage, our answer probably would have been because the bible says so. But in actuality, that was really only a small part of the reason. We never really sat down and discussed the reason why we were waiting. It was more of a feeling that we just knew. We wanted to save that moment until we could say yes to each other forever. Since then, we haven’t really thought a lot about that choice and the powerful effects it has had on us and our marriage.

It wasn’t until we sat down with Judy and Phil, our 49th couple from the Amazing Marriage Adventure, that we really began to understand what it was we “just knew”

As we chatted, Phil shared, “An important piece that carries through our entire marriage has been the ability to say no to our desires. Prior to marriage the no was “no with one another.” I wanted Judy to know that I could say no to myself.  She knew that I had really strong desires for her physically, but I wanted her to know that I could say no to myself.  After we got married, that no was gone. Now it was no outside the marriage. By saying no to one another, I wanted to build the obedience of saying no for her sake.

And we wanted to be able to say to each other you are worth waiting for. You are.”

When Phil and Judy shared this, we immediately said “YES!” They had hit on exactly what we knew but hadn’t ever really talked about.

We were saying no to each other because we wanted to show each other that we were worth waiting for and that once we were married, we would have the ability to only say yes to each other.

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Practicing your ability to say no to your desires was just one of the incredible pieces of advice Judy and Phil shared with us. We can’t wait to share from our time with Judy and Phil at the end of the adventure in our Amazing Marriage Adventure Book.


The Amazing Marriage Adventure Book

We are traveling over 35,000 miles to all 50 states to meet and document the stories of Amazing Marriages throughout the country. At the end of the Adventure we will be sharing everything we’ve learned from all the amazing couples we’ve met in our upcoming book. Want to read more of this couple’s love story and find out what we’ve learned during the Amazing Marriage Adventure? Join our mailing list below to be among the first notified of more details and to learn how you can get one of the first copies of the book.

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